literature

Slavery?

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curlscat's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

He stops work.

Looks up.

Dies.
For SixWordStories 's word prompt: Work.

I wanted it to be about a guy who's a slave in a mine or something and when he stops work to look at the sky they shoot him or something but it's hard to get that across in six words...

Comments?
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Comments10
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BerriesPoison's avatar
I think it's well written and I got the idea of the slave even without reading the title, althogh I thought he looked up at his owner or at someone who was controlling his work, silently praying for freedom. However knowing that he was looking at the sky makes it more beautiful.
I like it, it reminded me of all those movie scenes where slaves stop working and wish, even for a brief moment, to be in a better place, to be free.
And finally I liked very much the 3-2-1 structure. I used it too in a 6-word-story of mine and it really drives the whole thing, and here it fit perfectly.
(The comment ended up being longer than the story xD)